Dear freshman year Katie,

I’ve already forgotten many small details of beginning Duke during a global pandemic. But reading about your thoughts on your first month of college brings everything back. I remember relishing every in-person class like it was a field trip and feeling sweat rolling down my back as I debated when to “unmute” myself on Zoom classes — those were interesting times.

I can’t help but smile at your earnestness in joining The Chronicle. I will never forget that night I visited the office for the first time. Everything about it amazed me: the yellowing front pages of bygone years pinned to the walls, the crisscrossing wires spouting from monitors, the Post-It’s clinging to a bulletin board to form a (not so PG) quote wall. That visit was also the first time I met my editors in person. I’ll never forget how much I looked up to them, and I would never have believed that one day I’d become an editor myself.

As for your question “What is my purpose in college?”, I think I eventually found it. But I won’t give any details because that’s for you to figure out yourself. 🙂

Dear sophomore year Katie,

I know that sophomore slump is hitting hard right now. Surprisingly, the transition from freshman to sophomore year of college has proven more difficult than the transition from being a high schooler to a college freshman. Duke’s campus is much more alive than it was last year, so it’s understandably very overwhelming as you try navigating college “as it should be,” the one you always imagined yourself having, like in all the brochures. The truth is that brochures are just advertisements and there is no such thing as college as it should be. On top of that though, you’re experiencing loss and you’re incredibly homesick because you realize that the time you have with your family is only getting shorter.

Late into senior year, a friend told me about thinking of periods in terms of “growth years” and “profit years.” Looking back I can say sophomore year was a growth year for sure. It’s a time I don’t wish to relive but one I am grateful for the lessons it taught me. The only advice I can give you is to keep going, to call family as much as you can, and to remember that promise you made to yourself on the first day of Duke: that you’d never take a single day of being a college student for granted. Your profit years will come.

Dear junior year Katie,

Congratulations on making it to upperclassmanhood, if that’s even a word. Honestly, I still don’t know how you stayed sane through the summer 2023 recruiting process while juggling a full courseload and newspaper responsibilities and maintaining some semblance of a social life throughout.

I’m happy you’re enjoying your summer internship, but trust me when I tell you I’m still wrestling with the same questions you are: what purpose do I want my career to serve? What did I work so hard throughout high school and college for? I’ve spent the last few months looking for answers and maybe I’ve found some, but nothing is certain. The only thing I’m sure of is that I hope I continue churning out pieces on this website for as long as I’m around.

Dear senior year Katie,

As you know, life in high school revolved around music and running. You were unsure how these hobbies would manifest in college, and you were disappointed in yourself for not spending as much time during the first three years jogging around campus and playing clarinet as you thought you would. But I’m happy that senior year was your chance to tie loose ends and bring everything full circle.

After sophomore year you thought you’d never play in an ensemble again, but late into senior fall you realized you’d have a lot of time on your hands with a part-time spring schedule. You emailed the Wind Symphony director asking if you could reaudition for the spring semester, sort of like a last hurrah, and I am so grateful that she let you in. For the first and probably last time in a long while, you felt that familiar electricity crackle through your veins as you performed onstage alongside your peers. Fourth grade Katie would’ve been proud.

After the last concert though, I remember thinking sadly that it felt like I had come out of retirement for a few months just for me to retire again. But I guess I’ll never know if an opportunity in the future will arise.

As for the running, if you told me on the day of my knee surgery that I’d race a half marathon in five years, I would have laughed in your face. Partially because I would not have believed you, and partially because I would have been high on medication. The fact that you have not gone a day since March 2018 without dislocating your knee is a miracle, but the fact that you were able to run thirteen straight miles after having two holes drilled into your kneecap is another matter. You have your doctors, your family, and your friends to thank for that one. However, I will say that you should keep up the strength training because patellofemoral pain syndrome and tendinitis are no joke.

Dear all past Katies,

Graduating from college feels weird at first. For the first week, I found it strange waking up in my room at home and not in my Hollows suite. Even as I made myself breakfast at home I half expected my early bird roommate to come through the kitchen door, just finished with her 6 a.m. walk. I’d spontaneously check Find My Friends hoping that all our little icons would be clustered in Durham, but to my dismay everyone’s profile pictures were scattered throughout the world and I’d have to scroll, scroll, scroll through the map to find everyone. Sometimes, at the gym or the grocery store, I’d get a thrill in my chest if I saw someone wearing a bright blue shirt, but then I’d get disappointed when I found out it was just a random shirt, not one with DUKE!!!! plastered on it in huge letters.

Nowhere besides college could I wake up, learn extremely niche theories with insanely smart classmates, interview a very important administrator for a Chronicle article, watch some of my incredibly talented friends present their research or perform onstage for free, and then rally all my friends to fold, cook, and eat five hundred dumplings afterward. All in the span of one day and in the confines of a college campus. Because the next time I visit Duke, if I want to learn extremely niche theories, I’ll have to sneak into a classroom and hope I don’t get caught; I’ll definitely be escorted out of the Allen building if I tried getting an audience with any Duke administrator; I’d have to pay to watch any sort of student performance; and I won’t be able to raid any dorm kitchens with my friends because I won’t have card access to any building and my friends will all be off in the real world.

All of this to say, enjoy your time in college. It doesn’t last long.